Emptiness

I still got the mark
flesh burned contributing the loss of soul
But no...
The sword must be forged through fire
mustered with power
imbued with vision

The voice speaks into the head...

"Common, common
follow me to the emptiness,
Nobody likes you!
Nobody needs you!
She died but still she killed you
Nobody loves you
follow me down.... hahahaha"

Yes...

Yes...

Alone again...
even the voice abandoned me
and yet unsatisfied look for more
more emptiness,
a larger void to get lost into
a darker corner to hide
a sharper blade to kill myself

In this city of blood
I attribute to the cause of redemption
my blood
my soul
my worthless corpse...

I lost the key to the heavens

I used to be the gatekeeper
Knew every corner
every inch of heavenly places
Now, I am drowning in the darkest lake
Nobody to stop my fall
and still I cry
"I need no help"

Stinky is my odor
and carbon-filled is my breathing air
burned trees my thoughts
unskilled clowns trying to make you laugh

Terrible, terrible...
misery, misery...

It's nice to have fun..
really awful to be hated
but even worse is the fact
that you don't know the reason

Bloody swords and spears
cannot defy my pain
but can still end my misery...

She left me once with a smile
now she hides, keeps her face safe
wears the helmet of Hades
which makes mortal men invisible
and walks by me... Laughing in a whisper...

I cannot tolerate that...
No more dignity left...
I begged
I barked
I shouted
I screamed
I wrote poems and passages

still everybody defies my word
as if I was trying to harm their heads

Kill me at last...
Isn't that what you want?

I dare you to try....
I won't resist...

I will die wearing a smile....
A smile of a fucking fool........