Call a doctor...

Everything seems so beautiful
walls painted light blue
sun reflecting on the mirror
rainbow colors from a prism

Smiles and laughter
giggles and games
children playing
parents watching
filled with pride

Harmony
and white clouds
spreading around the horizon
women dancing
men playing and running
music
ecstatic freedom
a smooth breeze
reminds a difference
and everything
seems as a part
of a self denying bliss


But then you wake up
and all you see
is the same
nicotine yellow ceiling
and all you hear
is the distant sound
of the alarm signal
getting louder
until you set
it off...

Where did all the promises go?
Where is the glory we await?
Where is the land they promised us?
Where is the garden?

Am I blind and cannot see?
Am I deaf and cannot hear?
Am I souless and cannot feel?
Am I lifeless and do no live?

Suddently
this feeling of
a long forgotten despair
seems so amusing
it begins with an aching feeling
advances to something more elusive
stops to move, and just looks in your eyes
spits fire on your naked soul and burns every happy thought

and it all
ends
with
a faint
pain
in your
fragile
heart

Somebody...
...Call a doctor...

...A few forgotten faint minutes follow...

Your eyes close
and the mind sinks
into a new nightmare
a dark room
a chair
a faint light
being motionless
staring at the light's source
trying to understand
who are the masters
who are those who choose
whose's life you are living?

We are supposed to be kings and queens...
better the life of a slave
then the life of a nothing
And...
when your troubled mind
grows tired of questioning
you surrender to something
you swore never to return to
and again you hear
laughter and songs
and again you see
happy and smiling faces
grinning with pride and satisfaction
children giggling and playing
flowers and trees that bloom
you just stand there
forgetting where you were
a minute ago
trying to enjoy it
but still
you know not how to smile
you feel not like smiling
you have grown immune
to dreams and nightmares
and you know
that this
is just another
escape dream...

You wake up
in a hospital
surrounded by people that
are paid to care and to smile
that are paid to offer you comfort
"Will I die today nurse?"
but you're voice sounds distant
mixed within a buzzing sound
a sound familiar to the whisper of silence
a whisper that makes sense no more

and you understand

they have lobotomised you
and filled your life with lies
they have deceived you
and you forgot how to
separate the truth from the lie
it all seems the same old lie
it all seems unreal and fake

just paying the price
of a once proud immortality
you stand numb on a surgery bed
trying to understand
why the answer to an attack
is to always holding everything inside
desperately trying to escape
but still afraid to
'cause if you do
they will hit you
as they have done in the past
and you understand again
you are just another
frightened child
that wanted to play a grown up

And as the senses
give in to the ether
and everything tends to be forgotten
as in fainting slowly but still instantly
two small tears escape from their prison
racing between them
which will reach the bottom first
that's what we all are
not men, not women
but god's own
fucking tears...